School Progress Report (Day 2) - Parting is such sweet sorrow...
Walked Danielle to school this afternoon.
Today being her 2nd time at nursery*, I wanted to ensure she felt loved & secure before we parted for 2.5 hrs again. Figured a walk would do the trick since walking side by side (& hand in hand) fosters greater interaction as opposed to hollering to the back of her head while she sits in her pram (or 'pushchair' as they term my S$50 el-cheapo foldable here).
As we approached Lochinvar, I gently told her that Mummy would be saying 'byebye' and leaving her in school so she can learn & play with other little kids. I promised to 'be back very soon'. She paused to think, and got the message. Then as though internal alarm bells were going off inside her, she quickly turned her heel, pointed to the opposite direction (away from school) and pleaded, 'Mummy, this way, this way!'!
Sorry kiddo, it's no go this time... or in fact, every time you go to school. You have to learn.
As I bundled her in my arms, she started whimpering. Then when I opened the gate to the school compound, big tears starting welling in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. Short of wailing, she clung to me for dear life as I struggled to loosen myself from her grasp. Apologetically, I 'warned' the teachers at school that she'd be a handful today. And perhaps tomorrow, and perhaps, even the next day... :(
I wonder how long it'll be before she gets adjusted to school? I cannot begin to express how heart-breaking it is, leaving a disconsolate child. Talk about having your 'parent popularity rating' plummet to an 'all-time low' - that's how I feel with every teary episode. But as my erudite father puts it, 'we have to be cruel, to be kind'. So even though her tears impale me, I MUST remain firm and resolute. Waaah, but heart pain, heart pain...
My sis reckons it could take up to 2 weeks for Danielle to settle in. She says Hui was the same during her time. Although I know Danielle will eventually 'get there', I can't help but wish the process could be less painful - for both of us?
When I went to pick her up, I quietly peered through the door first. Saw Danielle happily getting her fruit ration from one of the teachers. The minute she saw me, she burst straight into tears, again! She scampered to my side and in between sobs, showed me her slice of orange and her new grasshopper sticker. Poor girl must have been overwhelmed by emotion that I came back to 'rescue her'. Teacher says this is a common reaction with all new kids. (Chk out the pix on the right, if you look closely, you can still see a remnant tear from the afore-mentioned 'rescue mission')
My reward for today's 'bravery' (or should I say, ordeal)?
Danielle, Mummy's gonna let you peel eggs again, ok? Feel better already?
:))
* Danielle has sessions on Mon, Thurs and Fri weekly.
2 comments:
At least when she starts school proper, she should be pretty independent by then.
I suspect when that happens, the mommy might have "issues"? :P
I think she's pretty smart to catch on so quickly what you were saying to her.
Give her a hug for me please. I miss her.
haha Sylvia, you can read about Kae's experience in his first Childcare center here. He was 2+ then:
http://apollochocolate.blogspot.com/2005_01_01_apollochocolate_archive.html
(remember to read from bottom up)
Very similar experience haha.
Kae's time in his first childcare centre and in our church's sunday nursery was tough coz he was super clingy and would cry and cry and cry.
Everytime when we pick him up, there'd be tears in his eyes. GULP... guilt starts flowing over =p
For Sundays, he joined us in the "adult church" (he calls service that) and totally enjoyed it. But we stopped his first childcare schooling coz he wasn't challenged, very difficult and my Dad was fed up of fighting with him every morning.
When he went to his second school, and started proper Sunday school instead of just playing with other toddlers in the nursery upstairs, he was all ready to go by then. He was 3+ then and what a difference a year makes. I think the other thing is that we chose a church kindergarten over the PAPs, Cambridge kindergartens, etc AND it made a huge difference.
And yea I miss his clinginess and his mummy-neediness sometimes but I also feel very proud of him and his independant spirit.
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