Dealing with Death

Most times when I bring Danielle to the childrens' library, I'd be armed with B's grocery bag, ready to pick out 'new' books for us to read at home. I'd pore through shelves & boxes, picking out fun & interesting titles regarding fairies, farmyard animals, birthdays, parties, trips to the beach etc... all happy, sprightly themes.

But yesterday, I chanced on a shelf I hadn't seen before. A shelf that displayed kiddy books dealing with (more) emotional themes - welcoming a new baby, moving to a new home, anger management, first day at school, getting a new haircut (how true! This can be EMOTIONAL for some! haha!) and even, bereavement.

Whilst it did cross my mind that Danielle is, perhaps, a little young to be 'taught' what Death is, I picked up the Miffy book (by dick bruna) nonetheless. After flipping through it to get a brief synopsis, I decided to borrow it.


Then last night, I read it to Danielle. Twice.

For the most part, I think she did enjoy the book, although it was undeniably sad. Even with its cutesy pictures, the author managed to convey feelings of bereavement simply, yet beautifully, and in a way children can understand.


I felt just a tad teary while reading the book because it was about Miffy's grandma who'd died. I know, silly emotional me. But it did make me think about my mum and how one day, she will leave us.

Afterall, Death, escapes no one. Death comes to all...


As I read the book, I tried to explain Death to Danielle in a way I thought best. I asked her, pointing at the (above) picture, 'Is grandma sleeping?'. Yes, she'd reply. But I'd tell her, 'No, grandma is not sleeping, she's dead. And 'dead' means you cannot wake up anymore.'

I wonder whether she understood?

She was rather reticent throughout the story but asked for it to be re-read after the first round. Perhaps she wanted to understand better why Miffy's grandma was buried under a blanket of moss? Or why all the bunnies were crying?

At the end of the second reading, she sat on the bed next to me, quietly contemplating (or so it seemed). All of a sudden, she turned to me and asked:

"Mummy, will you die?" (I swear, I am not making this up.)

I'm not sure whether she strung that sentence because she knew exactly what it meant, or that it was one of her random 'word(s) spew', of which she has many of late.

But that question made me choke up. And I could not answer her.

I guess whilst I think Danielle can be exposed to themes of death and loss now, she's still too little to be dealt with the blow that yes, one day, her Mummy will die & leave her...

* I think it's wonderful childrens' authors write books that handle real issues, despite their readers' age. Whilst it's wonderful to regale kids with tales of rainbows, tea parties and faraway lands - all which are needed to build creative thinking & imagination - let's not forget that kids, though young, are little people waiting to grow up.