Dealing with Death

Most times when I bring Danielle to the childrens' library, I'd be armed with B's grocery bag, ready to pick out 'new' books for us to read at home. I'd pore through shelves & boxes, picking out fun & interesting titles regarding fairies, farmyard animals, birthdays, parties, trips to the beach etc... all happy, sprightly themes.

But yesterday, I chanced on a shelf I hadn't seen before. A shelf that displayed kiddy books dealing with (more) emotional themes - welcoming a new baby, moving to a new home, anger management, first day at school, getting a new haircut (how true! This can be EMOTIONAL for some! haha!) and even, bereavement.

Whilst it did cross my mind that Danielle is, perhaps, a little young to be 'taught' what Death is, I picked up the Miffy book (by dick bruna) nonetheless. After flipping through it to get a brief synopsis, I decided to borrow it.


Then last night, I read it to Danielle. Twice.

For the most part, I think she did enjoy the book, although it was undeniably sad. Even with its cutesy pictures, the author managed to convey feelings of bereavement simply, yet beautifully, and in a way children can understand.


I felt just a tad teary while reading the book because it was about Miffy's grandma who'd died. I know, silly emotional me. But it did make me think about my mum and how one day, she will leave us.

Afterall, Death, escapes no one. Death comes to all...


As I read the book, I tried to explain Death to Danielle in a way I thought best. I asked her, pointing at the (above) picture, 'Is grandma sleeping?'. Yes, she'd reply. But I'd tell her, 'No, grandma is not sleeping, she's dead. And 'dead' means you cannot wake up anymore.'

I wonder whether she understood?

She was rather reticent throughout the story but asked for it to be re-read after the first round. Perhaps she wanted to understand better why Miffy's grandma was buried under a blanket of moss? Or why all the bunnies were crying?

At the end of the second reading, she sat on the bed next to me, quietly contemplating (or so it seemed). All of a sudden, she turned to me and asked:

"Mummy, will you die?" (I swear, I am not making this up.)

I'm not sure whether she strung that sentence because she knew exactly what it meant, or that it was one of her random 'word(s) spew', of which she has many of late.

But that question made me choke up. And I could not answer her.

I guess whilst I think Danielle can be exposed to themes of death and loss now, she's still too little to be dealt with the blow that yes, one day, her Mummy will die & leave her...

* I think it's wonderful childrens' authors write books that handle real issues, despite their readers' age. Whilst it's wonderful to regale kids with tales of rainbows, tea parties and faraway lands - all which are needed to build creative thinking & imagination - let's not forget that kids, though young, are little people waiting to grow up.

A Hot & Steamy Weekend?

On Friday, ma 'ever beauteous and utterly charming' galpals checked out the hotpot scene at Ting Yuan (Liang Seah St) - gorging on delectable morsels of hand-made wanton, luncheon meat, fish and what-nots dipped in spicy mala/chicken broth...*drool-O-meter shifts into overdrive*

Afterwhich, they had the 'gooood sense' to call me to give me their ratings of the place & entice me further with tales of sinful eclairs at Panpac.

Their verdict: Worth going again. YAY!

Kum seah hor, cha bors. I really felt like I was slurping on mala-dipped golden mushrooms vicariously through y'all.

And now, onto other household matters.

This is what we 曾s did over the weekend:

Ok, so our weekend was not so hot and definitely not steamy, but bet that caught your attention, eh? 'fess up now!

Thanks Lanes for a fabulous weekend as always!!! *big hugs and kisses*

Shiver Me Timbers, It's Snow!

Today has to be the zenith of my week. For the first time in my 30-odd years, I woke up to these snowy scenes:

down the street where we live

outside of our kitchen window

Although what fell was only an inch of snow, it was enough to transform the usually grey and dismal City of London into a Winter Wonderland: (taken by locals)

at the London Eye

cute little fella, taken at the Thames

picturesque at Canada Water

Admittedly, I'm not a big fan of snow. While it is fun for some, romantic & dreamy for others; it all but spells the chills for me. Brrrrr...*huffing breath in air*

Still, there's an upside!

The best thing about this '1-inch snow' is being able to share the experience with Danielle. I woke her up earlier this morning just so she could see it before it all melted.

Even though she was still groggy and suffering from a really bad case of bed head, she jolted up almost immediately and exclaimed, "Woaaaah! I want to make a snowman, mummy!"

I'm glad Motherhood - despite its trials & frustrations - has precious moments like these.

++++++

Here we are enjoying a cuppa after prayer meeting today. I finally concede that Danielle has my smile. :)

Police Constable (PC) Danielle

I know I've said this before but it's been ages (again) since I brought Danielle to the One O'clock Club, what with the in-laws being in town and all. But since the sun decided to stop playing cruel 'peek-a-boo' games with us poor freezing icicles mortals today, I resolved not to fritter away the opportunity to bring her out & thaw while away the afternoon.

Despite me cajoling her to try out different costumes at the Club, Danielle was adamant in her choice of this luminous PC uniform. Methinks it's the 'Leo' in her that's aching to take on a more domineering 'vocation', as opposed to dressing up as a fire-fighter, ambulance crew, princess etc...

I, for one, would've preferred her in that cute little nurse uniform. It looked like a retro-looking, turquoise shift dress. C'est genial! Shall try to somehow hoodwink her into being Florence Nightingale on our next visit...

Meantime, here's law-enforcing PC Danielle!

* doesn't this Slide reel look as tho' she's part of some police TV serial? (think Law and Order, better yet T.J Hooker! Don't we all remember this one! Good heavens, we're old.)

Prom Nite

Here's a quick flashback to my own past - the 1990s when I had my JC prom-nite & 1st dance with my future husband! (We didn't actually dance to this song, but it's still a proverbial prom-nite song so what the heck!)

The video's kinda bleh so close your eyes and just listen to the song.

If You Leave - Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD) - late 80s
If you leave, don’t leave now
Please don’t take my heart away
Promise me, just one more night
Then we’ll go our separate ways
We’ve always had time on our side
Now it’s fading fast
Every second, every moment
We’ve gotta make it last

I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won’t let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
You always said we'd still be friends someday

If you leave I won't cry
I won't waste a single day
But if you leave don't look back
I'll be running the other way
Seven years went under the bridge
Like time was standing still
Heaven knows what happens now
You’ve gotta say you will

I'll touch you once, I'll touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
You always said we'd meet again someday

I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won’t let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
You always said we’d meet again someday

If you leave
If you leave
Don’t look back
Don’t look back

You say potato and I say po-tah-to

Has anyone seen the movie, 'The BreakUp' (right) starring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston? If you haven't, you might wanna consider putting this title on your list of DVDs to watch next.

I'd recommend this to couples - both married and dating alike. This movie, however, borders on the 'chick flick' category so ladies, if your men need convincing, tell them there's a scene where Jen A shows off her pert, little tush most gratuitously - that should nail 'em . My other half, and King of B-grade action movies, surprisingly gave it his nod of approval so, well... just watch it.

I must say, I've never seen a movie so 'spot on' in its portrayal of relationships. The dialog in the movie made me feel as if it was holding up a mirror to my own relationship.

Now before I continue, let me assure all that Dee & I are doing just fine. Although, I have to admit, we did have an 'episode' over the weekend, but that's just me staging my theatrics. Heh heh.

The movie highlights some key issues between men and women:
1) Fundamentally, we DO NOT speak the same language. How else do you think John Gray made his millions with his bestseller, 'Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus'?
2) (Some) women just lurrrrrv to play mindgames. (guilty! guilty!)
3) (Some) men just don't let up.
4) Most men don't listen, are slobs, and are BOYS.
5) (Most) women have selective hearing when it comes to arguing. i.e we pick what we wanna hear, then beat the guy to a pulp using his very words. No, I stand corrected - we pick what we wanna hear, turn it around (usually to something out of this world), then pulverize the guy. He'll usually be struck speechless by this point.
6) In a quarrel, women tend to bring history into present, resulting in an argument about Everything Else.

Allow me to illustrate Pt 1:
D: (commenting on my cooking) Your food will never taste as nice as my mum's because she uses alot of salt and oil. So you should just keep it simple. It's ok, I want to eat heathily...
S: You think my cooking sucks so you think I should stuff the effort coz it'll suck no matter what??!!

See?

Let's explore Pt 2, 3, 5, and 6 with another illustration:
S: Since you think I suck at cooking, I think I won't cook anymore! (but I sooo wanna cook, I know I can cook no matter what you say!)
D: I didn't say you cook bad. I just said you should keep it simple! But you should really smash the garlic more. You know how my mum cuts garlic?
S: What?! Now you're even insulting the way I do the garlic! Don't compare me with your mum!
S: Fine! I'll not cook anymore since you don't appreciate it!
D: Fine! Don't cook then! I'd rather you not put your stress on me!
S: I'm not stressed!
S: (like a petulent child) I hate you! You don't want me to cook! And you don't appreciate my efforts! To think I have to clean after you ALL THE TIME. And I have to wash up even when I did all the cooking!
S: I don't want to wash dishes anymore! (clashing of plates)
D: Oh ok, you've had your turn, now I'll have mine! (clashing of bowl)

Juvenile.

Of course, these, are simply illustrations. :)

I'm cooking Japanese (again) tonight. Ready-mix miso soup, Jap rice and a side dish of chinese cabbage with mince meat. I hope that's simple enough for Mr Keep-It-Simple (bleh!). But... I travelled by Tube to Leicester Sq just to buy tofu for the soup so if he were to so much as flinch ever so slightly tonight, I'll not hesitate to exact my swift ninja moves on him, and cook his innards for tomorrow's dinner! (good suggestion on your part, Mel. Don't forget our pinna colada date shd the cops drop by... *winkwink*)

Yep, hell hath no fury like a SAHM scorned!

In the royal galley of divine Love, there is no galley slave: All rowers are volunteers.
- Saint Francis de Sales (1567-1622)

One for the Weekend - An odd Ode and a ludicrous Limerick

Positively awful poetry composed by a certain deranged individual. Guaranteed to wreck a perfectly good weekend.

Ode to Me Milo
Since I bagged you
my life hasn't been the same
Oh divine brown*, chocolatey fluid
3-in-1 is your claim to fame

Oh Milo Milo, how I love thee
I'll ne'er find a worthy substitute
You're a fantastic quick-fix remedy
This obsession, this malady...
Oh commit me to an institute!

haven't keeled over yet? Then here's another one that'll surely push you off the edge! :P

Limerick -

A Bottomful of Milo
There once was a sweet dame named Saggs
whose derriere would make you go 'gag!',
Her favourite brew was Milo
she guzzled it daily with a smile-O,
& watched her arse splay out like a flag?!

Forever the masochist, do humour me the pathetic bard with your ratings! Go ahead now, be brutal!

:P

* I now understand the motivation behind Hugh Grant's wicked little deed! Divine et Brown, they do go together!

Caught in a whirlwind

I'd love to show y'all the photo I took of myself after braving strong winds while dropping Danielle off at nursery today.

But I won't - for fear that some of you may not be able to stomach the trauma of gazing at a 'sino-looking' Medusa. It is afterall, still early in the morning.

Nonetheless, here's Medusa anyway (I can't help being wicked, pardonne-moi).

Trust me, between her and my 'blownover-hairdo- that-looks-more -like-Roadkill', she's the undisputed beaut.

On a more serious note, today's devastation left 9 people dead. One of whom was a 2YO toddler who died when a wall fell on him. He was out on a walk with his child-minder.

As I watched the full impact of the winds on telly, I was aghast how the 99mph gale overturned heavy vehicles on highways, fell and uprooted trees, blew off scaffolding, caused huge railway delays, buses to quiver and shake, numerous flight cancellations, multiple accidents on the road etc.

I was forced to walk at a perpetual 45 degree angle as I went to get Danielle from school. Even steering the buggy home was arduous after.

I thank God we made it home safely.

But for that poor little boy, whose usual walk was around the neighbourhood? That sadly, was his last.

Refrigerator Raider

DID YOU KNOW...

2YOs are terribly skilled at the following?

• Jumping up and down non-stop on the bed
• Swimming in manner of drowning cat in bathtub
  
• Cutting stuff up (mags, paper, blu-tac, whatever...)
  
• Peeling eggs
• Carrying a bowl of cornflakes and milk from kitchen to livingroom w/o spilling (ok, this is gd)
  
• Switching on the DVD player, putting disc in, pressing 'Play' then scrambling to the sofa
• Using lip gloss & lipstick on self
• Climbing up and down the toilet bowl (but no, still NOT toilet trained. Heavens!)
  
• Shredding tissue paper into snowflake-like sizes
  
• Playing 'doctor', 'chef', 'librarian' (<--New entry!)
• Being Indian chief (note use of 'being' rather than 'playing', as is apt)
  

Amongst these skills & others, Danielle is also extremely adept at opening and closing the fridge door.

It doesn't help that the landlord's fridge is perfectly sized for 2YOs like her.

See what I mean?

And just this morning, she tried to flaunt her new skills in 'Winning An Argument'...

+++++++++

[Heavy footsteps leading to back of the house. Has evidently not mastered the art of stealth unlike...Me. I follow surreptitiously behind.]

Opens fridge door (rather noisily. once again shoddy work in the stealth dept). Helps herself to:
a) Another slice of cheese, or
b) Contents in the open packet of toffee, or
c) Both

Me (standing akimbo): Danielle!
D : (bewildered) oh darn, oh darn. she caught me! quick! look cute, look cute
D : G..g..Go to computer mummy!
Me: What are you doing here?
D : I want to leave alone!
Me: (dumbfounded)
Me: You have to ask Mummy for permission!
D : No! (stamps feet)
Me: Yes!
D : No!
Me: Yes!
D :I don't want leave here!(or perhaps she means 'live'??)
Me: I have completely no idea what you're saying but, No!

This goes on for a few more minutes till finally...I relent.

Oh heck. Another slice of cheese isn't going to kill her.

Right, Daisy?

Moo.

Dear 奶奶...

dear 奶奶...

Wouldn't you be thrilled if I was really writing you this letter? But I can't spell or write yet (I hate ABCs) so I have to dictate my 'thoughts' to Mummy, who's kindly agreed to help me out with this letter. Hmmm, I wonder what 'dictate' means?

Thank you for coming to see us in London. I had lots of fun with you! Thank you for playing catch with me, rolling out my 'playdoh' (actually it's blu-tac), attending my tea parties and 'eating' the food I 'cooked'.

I will miss your cooking, 奶奶 . You cook the best 'lor bak + egg'. My favourite! Now I'll have revert to eating mummy's (rather paltry attempts at) fish porridge, mincemeat porridge, sweet potato porridge, and if I'm really good - pasta with sausage & cheese. Bummer.

I bet Mummy is groaning at the thought of having to carry me up and down the Tube now that you're leaving. And that she'll have to bathe and change me, lull me to sleep, change my diapers, clean up my mess after eating, entertain me... ALL by herself. Again. I hope she gets over it. Dum dum dee dum...

Mummy told me just now she's going to miss having a big person to talk to. Pfffht, what does she mean? I speak 'big person' too?! Hmph.

Anyway, I think I will miss you, 奶奶. You always let me get away with things.

I love you.

your nelle-nelle

ps: I think you cut my fringe waaaay better than mummy!

Back to Life, back to Reality...

All too soon, my MIL is leaving us. She flies back to SGP tonight - back to her real life.

It's been fab having her around. It's always good to have an extra pair of hands. Better yet, a grandparent's.

All of a sudden, I had time to do more stuff (V'day cards! Wrap MORE gifts!Finish Grey's Anatomy Season 1, finish CSI Season 1~4!!!); and I got to see a bit more of London while bringing her around too.

I admit I was a bundle of nerves before she arrived. I was biting my nails wondering what her assessment of Danielle would be, under my care. There were some 'tut-tutting' moments (I think?) but on the whole, nothing that would earn me a 'blackmark' on the overall DIL scorecard.

I surmise she did enjoy herself in the month she was here. What she leaves now, unfortunately, is a 'void' I know I'll find hard filling again...

She'll never get to read this blog (ever!) but through it, I still want to thank her:

谢谢, Mee. 谢谢您的关怀和陪伴. 我们会 想念您...

Dayung Sampan ke Ingland...

After spending MONTHS at sea, it's finally arrived!

Yes, Mel, your Christmas package to us thankfully made it to British shores! Today!!!! After 2ish months?!!! Before CNY!

HALLELUJAH! *wave hands in manner of black gospel singers*

Thanks soooo much for the many gifts. Danielle loves all of them, especially the stickers! Even as I blog this, she's sticking them all over the place- on her arms, earlobes, eyes, nose, forehead, in her book, on the TV cabinet...That's how much she Digs them!

And she adores the kitty slippers. She thinks they are 'the babies' of that cat cushion Cin & Ee Lin gave me all those years back.

Yup, definitely see the resemblance here.

And let's not get started on the bubble gun... :)

As for your gift to Dee, let's just say your status has been elevated to that of a 'demi- goddess'. Heh heh. Fabulous choice, that one.

U raawk, sista.

A is for architecture (that is) amazing (and) awesome!

We visited 2 museums on Wednesday - Tate Modern and The British Museum.

Not one to enjoy deciphering abstract art, or marvel at Egyptian artefact, I found myself more intrigued by the architectural brilliance of both buildings, in particular, The British Museum.

But a little more on that later. Here's a short intro to the museums for some of yoos.

Tate Modern:Housed in an old, unused power station, Tate Modern is one of 4 other museums to display selections of the Tate collection (Brit art dating 1500 onwards) and other more contemporary works. But since October'06, it's been transformed into a pseudo 'playground' for the young and old.

Well, at least that's how I see it.

Behold, the latest (modern??) installation by Carsten Höller - SLIDES.

Now, how is this art? I haven't a clue.

I can't see the 'art-factor' behind these metal spirals but (of course) the artist can. His 2-prong interpretation: 1) a visual spectacle of watching people sliding and, 2) the 'inner spectacle' experienced by the sliders themselves, the state of simultaneous delight and anxiety that you enter as you descend.

What I think he means (in fewer words): Let's watch people take slides. Watch them scream. Sweet...

Easy peasy.

Okay, bad bad. Should not downplay his artistic (oi! stop it!) talent and interpretation. Was happy to simply experience the exhilarating ride down- even if it was from Slide 2, which, was for kids.

Yes, I'm pathetic that way. Bleh.

But...unlike Reuben who sneakily recorded (no photography or filming allowed!) his journey down the winding slopes, I decided to do things ethically - slide down and (hopefully) land on tush gracefully. (Actually, I was poultry and afraid of showing my cowardice on record. Shhh...)

I did one of 2 tasks successfully. Go figure.

Danielle was eager to try it too (brave lil' lass!) and while she passed the height restrictions, she wasn't able to grasp the concept of having to lie down while taking the slide. In the end, we had to abandon the attempt. Pity.

On another note, the Tate bistro on level 7 serves a mean cup of cuppacinno. It's the best I've tasted since landing on UK soil. I think it's got something to do with the fact that it's illy coffee. Will def be on a look out for cafes that offer illy coffee the next time I crave a cuppa.

++++++

The British Museum:
Established in 1753, The British Museum is one of the world's largest and greatest museums of history and culture. There were so many chambers to visit, one would probably need a whole day to look at the entire collection. I wasn't interested in all the works so spent more time taking pictures of the architecture. And that's one of the great things about this museum, photography IS allowed.

Breathtakingly beautiful is the Great Courtyard. A rather unlikely amalgamation between Greek structures and a contemporary glass roof, but it works. And I love it, love it, love it! Spent over an hour just marvelling the architectural genius of Lord Norman Foster, who designed London's most famous roof. Here's a peek:

JH would have an absolute field day here.

Another room I really liked was The Reading Room. Two thoughts popped into my head upon entering this beautiful dome-shaped library:

1) Professor Higgins from My Fair Lady
2) My Dad

Why Prof Higgins? Must be the books that triggered it. That scene of him reaching out for one of his books on phonetics kept playing in my mind as I gaped at the extensive collection of books on the open shelves.

No surprises why I would think of my Dad though. He would have LOVED being amongst such vast volumes of literature. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen since he can't fly due to medical conditions. So I guess he'll have to be content, and experience life vicariously through my accounts via emails, postcards and photos.

In one of my more 'thoughtful' moments (and I have lots of them here) - I'm grateful to God for giving us this opportunity to experience such wonderful sights. But I'd gladly swap places with my parents any day, so they too, can experience all the amazing things I encounter here - each and every day.

Life's Snapshots

I stopped dead in my tracks (and literally, at the tracks) when I saw this ad at the Clapham South Tube station one morning:

Singapura, Oh Singapura...

This, is precisely why I love carrying the camera around. EVERYWHERE I go.

I don't know when it all started but it's become almost a dogged proclivity for me to whip out the cam at any and every occasion. I snap even the most banal of subjects (as you can surely tell from above photo of Tube ad. *rolley eyes*).

Whilst I'm no virtuoso when it comes to phototaking - am more a 'snap and shoot' sorta girl - my lack of technique has never deterred me from capturing moments that mean something to me. Fleeting moments of beauty, expressions and emotions... all that would otherwise be lost in Time.

But most of all - I love taking photos because they leave footprints in our minds... That, or I'm simply honing my skills to fulfill my life-long ambition to join a '狗仔隊' by errr... 40! Am certain I'll make a darn gooood one, ok!

Or perhaps, it's for longevity. For when I'm old and senile (or gone), my children (woohoo! am being presumptuous here!) will be able to whip out my voluminous albums and rekindle some memories of those days of yore...




















* surely my eyes are playing tricks on me. Dee is NOT bigger with every photo, is he??? Heh heh.

A Trifle Update

2 morning slots became available and Teresa asked whether I'd be interested to place Danielle in the AM sessions at Lochinvar instead?

I jumped at the chance coz I thought it might 'cure' Danielle of her cranky spells in the afternoon. I suspect some of the times she's teary going to school is because she's simply pooped out. So starting 2007, she'll attend morning school on Mondays and Fridays. Thursday remains a PM session.

Today was Danielle's first day at the AM session. And thankfully, she had no problems settling in.

Only 'glitch' now is - I'm looking at possibly 8 ~9 hours of 'after school' entertaining !!! (as opposed to breaking the day with school in between)

Oh god, what have I done? *smack on head*

* Got this coat for a steal at Zara. Danielle looks smart in it, doesn't she?

That Girl Is Mine

SURE SIGNS THAT DANIELLE IS MY DAUGHTER

Evidence numero uno

Evidence numero dos

Yes, we girls LURV our sweets.

So help us, God. :P