Why Caffeine and I cannot be friends

We all need some time to ourselves - just a few minutes a day to get reacquainted with the one who's been there since the beginning...

Oh yeah, I have been busy reacquainting 'me' with 我, saya, watashi, je, alright. I've been spending helluva lotta time with myself, and of course, Facebook. But let's not even go there.

If there's one person I really love hanging out with, that person - beyond a shadow of a doubt - would be me.

Hey, I'm not going to hide it under a cloak of modesty - I do love hanging out with myself. Don't you? I don't mean hanging out with me (becoz I'm dead sure you do! Ha!)! Don't you love hanging out with yourself?

Afterall, who knows what you like to do better than yourself?

So anyways, there I was, at Starbucks, having my caramel macchiato, getting serviettes for messy crêpe eater Danielle and equally messy eater MIL (hohoho!), and taking aimless photos of the pictures on the walls when I came across this lovely introspective bit of writing.

All of a sudden, I was paralysed with fear.

The ONLY reason why I've been able to luxuriate myself in a soapy, rose-petaled tub of 'Me' is because MIL IS HERE. And she's been here for close to 3 weeks. Thus explaining the OVERindulgence in self.

But she leaves Friday. Oh steady me while I drag myself soaking wet outta the bath, and help burst all of my illusory soap bubbles, won't you? Wooeeeeee is meeeeeeee!

Eeep. Help.

The thought of her leaving is actually making me hyperventilate. I swear it's not the caramel machiatto I had at Starbucks. Or maybe it is? Or perhaps it's the potent brew of sucrose, caffeine and the soon-to-be-lost hours of freedom that is doing me in.

I am a wibbly wobbly jelly.

Her presence here lifted (almost) all mothering duties off me. But soon, it'll be back to the grind. I'm not complaining. Just facing up to the fact that I have to go back to being 'Saggs the Mum' first, and not just Saggs.

I hell am grateful I had these lovely 3 weeks though!

Meantime, while I'm still in this hyperventilative (who cares if this word doesn't exist!) state, can I please remind myself NEVER to pick up the phone to chat with someone after a coffee fix! I found myself yabbering 19 to a dozen to Mabes. It was as if a bullet train re-routed itself to appear quite startlingly out of my tunnel-mouth. I swear I was speaking 7728729 words to her per minute! I wonder what she got out of that conversation. Hmmm, I should call her and ask her...

+ Remind me that I SHOULD NOT have coffee. Not ever. Not good for them wobbly nerves.