Dear Piggybank

I am writing to express my sincere apologies for my appalling misconduct. I confess to misappropriating funds from the sacred coffer. As an act of penance for my wrongdoing, I hereby sentence myself to ADDITIONAL hours of menial labour (which could include: carrying Danielle as opposed to 'pramming' her? Vacuuming the house TWICE, instead of once a week?)

P/S: You've been looking noticeably anorexic lately.

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Dear Saggs

Thanks for writing. But why are you writing to inanimate objects? GET A LIFE!

P/S: Thank you for effortlessly taking inches off my waistline. I confess those 'metal milkshakes' were doing me in.

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Last Friday (11/5), wee one and I dropped in on an Orla Kiely sale. The sale was held at Studio Voltaire at Clapham Common. With the sale located sooo close to home, wild horses couldn't keep me from checking this one out!

I decided to get to the sale at a quarter past 11am. I reckoned the sale wouldn't be in full swing at that time.

Daaaaaah! Wrong again! What have you NOT learnt, girl? Brit lasses: 1) DO NOT SLEEP, 2) Are (I'm convinced) genetically KIASU.

The venue was THRONGED with women!!!! Stampeded! Jam-packed! Invaded! It was as if Ali Baba's 40 thieves had upped and left their cave in Baghdad (??) and were going over their ill-gained stash at the Studio.

There were women from all walks of life - yummy mummies with babies/toddlers, corporate go-getters, showy fashionistas, Sporty-Spices, nubile 20-somethings, elegant dames in their 40s... all of them wanted a piece of Orla, as did I.

After an hour of foraging through piles and piles of bags/wallets/card cases and rummaging through racks of clothes, I decided to purchase a wallet to replace the one stolen at Tooting Bec. At 30 quid, this is my most expensive purchase in the UK yet.

this is it, whaddya think?

Deciding on a suitable bargain item was the least of my worries though. The queues to the cashiers were horrendous! Unlike me, the other women had more than one item (and more $) on them. Most of them had 3~4 bags plus a dozen clothes slung on one arm, while toting their own designer bags (Prada, Gucci, LV) on the other!

Also, overheard at the queues:

Woman 1: Olivia... yeah, I'm at the Orla Kiely sale at Clapham Common. I need to pop back to the office for a bit. Was wondering whether you can come and stand in line for me?

Woman 2: Hey... yeah, I'm here. Yes the sale's pretty good. Do you think you can slip away to come over?

Hmmmmm... lesson 3) Brit cha bors take their sales very VERY seriously.

And all I could think of while standing in line was - have they completely lost their marbles?

Zombies from the night of the living dead