Aggressive Behaviour
On Tuesday, Teresa pulled me aside and in hushed tones, told me Danielle had yanked someone's hair and shoved him to the ground.
I was mortified and apologised profusely for her appalling behaviour, asking then who that boy was so I might apologise to his parents.
But Teresa refused to divulge who the child was. Instead she told me not to worry about it - the boy wasn't hurt and Danielle had been given a talking-to by Jo.
I hung my head in shame, embarrassed by my own daughter's behaviour. And Teresa, probably sensing my dismay, told me that it was common 2YO behaviour and Danielle was just being over-territorial. She'd hit the boy because they both wanted to sit in the same toy car.
Nonetheless, I gave Danielle a pep talk when we got home. I asked her whether she'd done what Teresa said she had. She admitted to the misdeeds and when questioned who her victim was, she gave me 2 names - Leo & Bunmi! Horrors! There were not 1, but 2 casualties?!!!
I sat her on my lap and told her very, VERY firmly she was NOT to repeat her actions. It wasn't nice, and she should be good & kind to everybody. Her actions also made Mummy sad.
When Dee came home from work, I told him the distressing news and he, too, reiterated our dismay towards her behaviour.
My sis says it's not unusual for children her age to be territorial and aggressive towards each other. This is the age where 'mine' and 'me' take precedence.
It may not be such a bad thing that Danielle is able to fend for herself, instead of being a pushover. Still, the thought of my own daughter 'victimizing' another child just doesn't sit well with me, 'positive' attributes notwithstanding.
Perhaps I should look at it from the other side of the coin - what if Danielle was the 'victim' instead? How would I feel? What actions would I take? Would it be easier to instill values of giving & sharing, or teach a child to be bold, and stand up for herself?
Hmmm...
In the meantime, I hope she got what we were trying to drive at. And that the 'bully' in her doesn't strike again tomorrow... or ever.
Daniellosaurus: Raaaaaah!
4 comments:
At least she was forthcoming about the 'incidents'.
:)
Hey dear,
You got to look at the whole picture, maybe Leo & Bunmi were rough with her and pushing her out of the car, she was only following suite
When Giselle started school, my sis was so worried abt her and ask her everyday if anyone push her or bully her in school. And yes, you do not want your kid to be bullied as well.
But be it being bullied or being the big bully, it's all part of growing up, it will form your character and personality and shape you in the future. As long as the child knows God, she will be ok!..:)
hey u know, when i read ur blog on doey, ok i know its not funny, but i dunno why it made me smile ... she's really a feisty one! and we all saw that in her growing up, not the aggressiveness but the "go-getter" and "don't u shove me around attitude"...
but like everyone's said ... she's only 2 ... i am sure u 2 fab parents will pray over it and finding innovative ways of chanelling all that ENERGY in her into something positive, hey she maybe our next brightest human rights lawyers!
hugs, mabes
HUGS... Like Viv says, it is common. =)
Ummm Kae gets bullied by the little girls in school lor... haha. He is too gentlemanly to retaliate against the 2YO+ new girl that is his school bus partner ROFL.
Must be all the "U cannot bully girls" pep talk I gave him. He good naturedly letz them pummel him a bit. I never hear about other boys bullying him in school... itz always the char bors!
Hmmm.
When Kae was 2YO, he and my friend's kid would also tug their hair a bit and do some friendly (right....) tug of war when it came to sharing toys. Dun worry too much. They are learning to share at this age. As she grows older, she will be able to share and socialise better. No worries.
The Pep talk to tell her you aint too pleased will help her realise it is not a good behaviour to pursue. Her honesty is a good sign as well that the lessons was well learnt.
Reminds me... the other day Joyce and Anna were tugging each other's hair. I gently stopped Joyce and she complained that Anna pulled her hair and she might lose all her hair. I jokingly reminded her that Anna has less hair and thus in a way more to lose. hehe.
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