Goodbyes

I hate goodbyes, particularly when they involve loved ones.

Even as I type, my mum's on her 12.5 hr-long flight back to Singapore.

I miss her already.

I'm glad we said a hasty goodbye at the airport. I simply could not hold back my tears and could only muster a brief hug before the waterworks inadvertently turned themselves on.

In Singaporean terms I'm (emotionally) jin jia lut.

I tried to think up a dozen happy thoughts like: I'll see her in a few months' time (Christmas '07 or February '08?), I'll be back for good in 2008, I can see Dad & her on Skype... But these thoughts literally 'flew out the window' when the time came for her to go through the departure gates.

I wish she was still sitting at our dining table, furrowing her brows, poring over the Sudoku puzzles in the London papers we get free from the Underground.

What Mum leaves behind are subtle traces of her visit - a 3/4 eaten loaf of bread, a jar of nearly-finished Ya Kun Kaya, my plants ALL given a new lease of life with soil she took care to replace, rye crisps she'd have for breakfast almost every morning, a newly-opened jar of Tesco coffee, my chai sim wrapped up in newspaper sitting in the fridge, the Andrew Brownsword mug she so pain-stakingly cleaned out for me of all its stubborn tea stains, and her towel, still slightly damp, hanging out to dry on our banister...

I'll miss Mum fussing over me - prodding me gently to have lunch, advising me to sleep early, asking me whether I'd taken my meds for my toothache, advising me to wear a jacket out in case the weather turned unexpectedly cool.

I guess it doesn't matter how old you are - or even if you've become a parent yourself - for once you're a child, you'll always be your parents' child.

For the past 2-ish years, I've transformed myself from being someone's child to being someone's mummy. So yes, it was nice to take on my 'child' role again, even if for a short few weeks.

I thank God I'm your daughter, Mum. And your daughter forever I will be. Thanks so much for visiting, for your thoughtfulness, your company. They meant the world to me...

I love & miss you.

Mum & me @ Big Ben

Our last day with Mum/grandma, a visit to Tower Bridge

* Is it just me or do other daughters find it equally as hard to say goodbye when their mums leave? How was it for you, Mich? Or Vick?